Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Right on schedule

Yesterday was day 34 of my cycle and, on queue, my period showed up this morning.

I won't lie, I'm extremely disappointed. Now, unless I have multiples or a preemie, I won't be a mom before I turn 30. I know that's not the most important thing in life, but it was kind of important to me.

As disappointed as I am that I'm not pregnant, I also know that it's partly of my own doing. There are ways I could have tried harder, things I didn't need to have done, things I didn't do that I should have. I was trying to just be laid back about the whole thing and hoped that strategy would work. I know it's only 2 tries now, but I think it's time to change that strategy. This next round will be worked at harder.

To be completely honest, I'm most disappointed in myself for not having tried harder. I have no one to blame at this stage but myself. It's OK, though. I'm not really beating myself up for it. I'm just sad. Today begins a new cycle of trying and tomorrow's another day.

It'll happen.

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