Blah

So the deeds have been done. We'll find out in 2 weeks. I'm not confident anymore. We'll see what happens, but I'm not holding my breath on this one. If this one doesn't take, we're trying a different ovulation kit than what we've been using. Hopefully we'll find one that's more accurate (I think I mentioned that already).

But I'm sitting here...with the "stuff" in place"...and I'm just feeling very blah. Very down. I know, I know. Don't count my chickens before they're hatched, but after 7 tries, it's hard to stay upbeat.

Miguel did mention that he may get his sperm count tested. I said if this one doesn't take, it'd be a good idea. It's a start - if he's fine, then we know it's either a timing issue, or it's me. But I have been pregnant before, so I know it's possible. But, I was about 60 pounds lighter than I am now, so perhaps that does have something to do with it.

I had grand aspirations to lose some weight before we started this baby making process, but never did. I always find some excuse to not do it. But, just a few minutes ago, I was thinking that I should just set an alarm on my phone to go excersize. I hate excersizing, so I think what I'll do (and I told Jenn this a week or two ago...but, again, I never got around to it) is just put the TV on the music station that has the dance music and dance around like a fool for a half hour or so. LOL It'll get me in a good mood, be fun, and help me maybe lose some weight.

At the very least, I need to get in a good mood and get my blood flowing. Losing weight would just be an added bonus. I just need to tell myself to quit making stupid excuses, that the internets will still be there when I'm done, and the world won't fall apart if I do something for myself.

I'll let you know how it goes. LOL

Cycle 8

I never really got a true positive on my OPKs, but we're gonna give it a go tomorrow since today was the darkest the tests have been the last 5 or 6 days. I think I need to change kits. We got the Clear Blue monitor from a friend of Miguel's, but the testing pieces are $50 for a 10 day supply. That's just not in our budget right now. I'll have to look at Walmart and Walgreens for a different type of test than what we've been using next month, if it comes to it.

I just want to hurry up and be pregnant. Now that we're actively trying, every time Aunt Flow shows up, it's heartbreaking. Again, I find myself wishing that I were straight and could just have sex everyday, twice a day until I got pregnant. Then I'd know I did absolutely everything possible and couldn't have missed my ovulation. That would take all the clinical-ness out of it. Or even if Miguel lived closer to us (he's a good 30 - 40 minutes away), I'd see him more often to try more. Unfortunately I feel like he's being inconvenienced by having to come here and give us his sample. There are several months where I asked him to come by a third day in a row and he just didn't show up. I did tell him that I am more than willing to drive out to his house, so I hope he takes me up on that if he's not up to driving out here.

So that's where we're at with that.