I am so frustrated with the people I work with. Our boss has us keep a log to track our performances and there are things on this log that people are cheating on or being unethical in order to have high numbers. I refuse to compromise my integrity to be at the top of the list.
I have always prided myself on being an upstanding and honest employee. I am so angry to see, on a daily basis, people lie and cheat just to make other managers (like myself) look bad.
Of course our bosses have no idea, nor do they even care. All they see are the numbers. Well, frankly I'd rather have poorer sales numbers and an awesome occupancy rate and prove myself that way.
The occupancy rate at this store was always around 88% during the slow season. Since the first day I got here, I have been reeling people in and have held a 92% occupancy rate. That's not common for this property.
I wish that there was some sort of regulation on the information managers are giving every month to verify that their info is true. Unfortunately that's not the case so these people will continue to get away with cheating. It pisses me off that there's nothing I can do.
It's so hard for me to post a lot of the time because I hate to be so whiney all the time. For the most part things are going well for me. I don't have much to complain about, but we all know I just love to complain. LOL
Work is going OK. I'm having a rough month so far with business, but there's not much I can control about it. Granted, the "suits" would disagree, but I'm the one who actually works in the store and knows what goes on. I'm dealing. I'm having a little stress that's causing me sleep issues (work stress causes insomnia), but I'm really working on leaving work at the office.
Home life is OK. Jenn's still looking for another job, but isn't having much luck. I feel bad for her cuz I know how much the company sucks. She and I are getting along much better, too. We have a normal friendship now, I think. LOL. We were dysfunctional for so long, in our friendship and with our relationship, that I didn't think we'd ever get to this point. It's nice.
Now my love life is something to complain about. LOL. The latest guy, the friend, is out of the picture. I'm not really surprised, to be honest. I don't expect any one to stick around for long. I did have hope, though, that since we already knew each other and had mutual friends, he wouldn't screw me over. Well, he didn't screw me over...he just screwed me and decided that's all he wanted and walked. This is why I've decided that I'm no longer giving away the milk for free. The next person that wants in my pants is gonna have to buy the damn cow. I'm just so tired of allowing myself to be treated this way. I'm so much better than that and I deserve better.
Physically I hurt! LOL. My leg muscles have been crampy lately and I'm not sure why. Mostly, though, over the last 2 days, my right shoulder and upper back have been hurting like a bitch. I need a full body massage - any volunteers??
That's it for the time being. Hope that wasn't too whiney. LOL.
Sorry it's been so long since I've updated. I don't have a desktop PC right now and typing on this little Acer is not the easiest when I've got acrylic nails. LOL. Let's just say the "Backspace" key is my best friend right now. LOL
Work has been going well...if you don't count all the stupid mistakes I've been making. In the grand scheme of things, it's not a whole lot and I've only really made one major screw up, but I still feel dumb because of it. I honestly was wondering yesterday if I made the right decision to go back. I know I haven't done storage in a year and a half and I should give myself a break, but I can't help but beat myself up. I used to be an awesome manager and really knew my stuff, but now I feel like such a newbie and I hate it. I know I'll get past it, but until that happens, I'm going to continue feeling this way.
I did make the decision to stop being so damn cocky, though. LOL. Obviously it's not working to my advantage. I also brought home some homework to help retrain my brain and memorize scripts and policies. Hopefully it works because I am not having fun being babysat at work.
In other news, I got the bright idea to become a nurse or medical assistant of some kind. Of course, this means school and I hate school. Maybe dental assisting. That's something I can just go for without GE college classes, right? I dunno. I think I just want an excuse to wear scrubs everyday. LOL. I'm gonna wait to figure that out until I get my own store. I can't handle school with all this commuting going on right now.
I turn 31 in 12 days and have no children, not husband/boyfriend/partner. This is not where my life is supposed to be. I really feel my youth slip away and my chances of having my own children getting slimmer and slimmer. I know, I know, I'm just feeling sorry for myself, but that's OK, because if I didn't, no one would. Ok, OK, I'll stop. LOL It's just that having kids is very important to me and I'm just losing confidence in ever having any. I am trying to just take things day by day and see where life takes me and hope and pray I'm headed toward a husband and family. ;o)
Anyway...I'm headed out to the A's/Mariner's game tonight with my friend Daphne. She had a spare ticket and asked if I wanted it. Woohoo! My first baseball game of the season. I'm super excited! Of course I'm a SF Giants girl, but I'll root for the A's if I'm at their game. LOL. Just don't ever ask me to root for the Yankees! haha!
Ooh! And I went to the most awesome concert last week! I saw 30 Seconds to Mars at the Fox Theater in Oakland with my friends Amy and Rania. I thought Blue October and NKOTB put on good shows, but this was flippin awesome! I love Jared Leto. At one point I was just 8 feet from him. OMG, he is such a beautiful man!
It was during this part that I was so close...about 5 feet or so behind the person who taped this. If you have time, go through the rest of the videos posted from them. Awesomeness!!
The next show I'm going to with Amy is to see Stix at the Concord Pavillion next week. Not one of my faves, but it's an excuse to hang out with Amy. She's been a good friend and is one of the mothers to my 3 year old twin nieces. Amy's so funny at concerts. She's got cerebral palsy and is in a chair and totally uses it to her advantage to get great seating and special treatment. Plus she's a total flirt and cons stuff out of people. LOL.
Well, that's about it for now...I'll try not to stay away for so long next time. ;o)
I am seriously sitting here in tears because I've had such a sucky day and night.
A manager that I work with have never gotten along and she really pissed me off tonight. She's the most condescending person I've ever known, not to mention one of the laziest people I've ever worked with and today was no exception. I wanted to slap her.
I was already on edge because I'm having to spend the night alone. I've never been alone for Christmas Eve and Christmas morning before. Ever. In my entire life. I was already depressed about that, but I guess it's part of growing up, right? Realizing that you're not as important as you think you are to people. Sure, I could have slept on my parents couch, but which is more lame - being alone at home or sleeping on your mom's couch? Honestly, I chose quiet depression over the alternative that may have been better for my mental state.
And then, a present I was given by another coworker went missing. I'm 99% sure I know who took it, but what am I to do? I just let it go. There was a spare that this coworker had gotten (she counted an extra person by mistake), so I took the extra. They were all the same thing, so it's not like it was something I'm missing by taking the extra gift, but the fact is that mine and the spare were in 2 separate places and should never have been mixed up, for one. Secondly, the person I'm sure took it had a gift of her own, so why would she take that plus the extra?? That's just being greedy and rude.
I seriously feel like people have been out to break me for some time. They've finally succeeded, so congratulations to them.
Now do you see why I hate people?
Dear God, Make me a bird so I can fly far far far away from here.
So I've been having a real good time at Bath & Body Works. It's an incredibly fun place to work. I love everyone that I work with (save 3 exceptions). I love our products. I love that the company is very Woman-centric. I love that we sponsor a family or a women's shelter during the holidays. I love that we make people happy.
What I don't love is having to work for someone that I believe has a drug problem. We have a new co-manager who has a lot of personal problems and tells us about them. First, I think that's highly inappropriate for her to talk about to any of us. Secondly, she shouldn't be bringing her issues into work, manager or not. On Saturday morning I worked with her and quickly realized she was high as a kite. 3 weeks ago, I opened with her and she was in the back office crying and telling me about her personal issues and how she passed out the night before after taking too many Tylenol on an empty stomach. Later that day, she gave 2 different versions of her story to other coworkers. Saturday morning, I'm pretty sure she was either on Oxy, heroin, methadone or crack. They all have similar looking highs - slowed speech, slow blinking, slurring, balance issues. They're narcotic highs. I saw them all when I worked in San Francisco. The closing manager, who came in close to the end of my shift, saw it, too.
In short, our store manager is aware, has already called HR, and has put everyone on alert to watch for the signs of drug use while on the clock. None of us like the co-manager. She's too ghetto to be a manager. She doesn't speak proper English. She's not a self-starter (she waits to be told what to do or ask someone who's doing work if she can help). She's insincere with her praise and compliments. I think we're all just waiting for her to fail.
It's hard, but we just have to be patient. I have no doubt that she's going to screw up and get herself fired.
In GOOD work news, my store manager told me today that she's working on a plan to get me more advanced in the company. Yay! This will help get me more hours and have some real sense of responsibility. This excites me! Maybe if the co-manager gets fired, I can sneak up and take that place. The 2 sales leads we currently have can't take that position, so maybe I can jump up there and take it. I've actually had a couple of coworkers ask why I'm not a manager or sales lead. LOL. I've had a couple of new people assume I was a manager of some kind. LOL. I guess I still carry myself that way, but I know these people have always seen me work my butt off and kind of take charge. It's just in my attitude when I'm at work. I'm far from lazy or passive when I'm at work.
Also, since I am still just part time at work, I am looking for something else that is part time - just to help out at least through Christmas. Full time work just isn't panning out, so I'll take what I can get. Last night, at 12:30am, I responded to a Craigslist ad for an assistant at a daycare. I think I'm crazy. LOL. Why would I do that?? I don't like other peoples kids!! Oh well, whatever. I get to play with babies. We'll see if that comes through. It's just a daycare, not a preschool, so I don't need ECE credits, thankfully. I can't try taking that class again. LOL.
So that's the news on the work front. When/If things change, you'll be the first to know. ;o)
My dad called today. He got laid off from his job. He worked at a Chrysler dealer, in their service & parts department. They all thought they were safe since they were part of a corporation with Sonic (not the restaurant chain) who owns other dealers as well as Infineon Raceway (formerly Sears Point).
My parents bought a house last year and have a large mortgage. Thankfully my brother, who still lives with them, works full time and has good income so he can help out. As soon as I'm home from Oregon, I'm seriously looking for something full time so I can funnel my money towards my parents if need be. I mean, with the job market the way it is, who knows how long it might be until my dad finds a job. Who knows how long it'll be until I find a job?
This really sucks. I smoked twice today because of it (I've been trying to quit cold turkey since being in Oregon, but have had 3 cigs in 3 days...not bad, really). It's stressful worrying about them. I'm sure they'll be fine, but still, I worry. I've seen so many other people lose their homes because of this damn economy, I don't want that for my parents.
If you're the praying type, please throw them in your prayer list. I'd really appreciate it.
have you ever been truly miserable in your job? so much so that it kills you a little bit each day that you have to get up and go to work?
yah, i hit that point a while ago, but today hit a new low. i now have a boss that truly doesn't listen to anything i say and, frankly, probably thinks i'm an idiot.
well, he already thinks i'm an idiot for wanting to quit and create a family with jenn. for that he was already on my shit list, but that was on the personal level. professionally, he pretty much gave me a "shut the fuck up and do your job" type of email. i can't work for that type of person.
i already gave my resignation stating my last day is going to be October 15, but i really wish it were sooner. unfortunately it may be longer, but, frankly, i think i'd rather be unemployed those last 2 weeks of october than stay in this shithole of a company.
i'm really kinda glad my friend april didn't get hired here. she'd probably be kicking my ass for getting her into this and making her miserable. lol.
i can honestly say that i think i would be happier had i stayed at public storage. at least there i know that i'm a monkey - i wouldn't have been fed bullshit about people listening to me if i had anything to say. i would have known my place - keep quiet and do your work. they don't lie about it there. and i was never belittled there. i was never made to feel like an idiot.
i wish i stayed at bed bath & beyond. i wish i never went to Shurgard. i wish i never met him. i wish i never fell for him. i wish i never believed his lies. had i done all that, jenn and i would be living a much happier life. and i probably would have had a baby by now. but i wasted 2 years of my life. 2 valuable years that i'll never get back. i've never felt so dumb in my life.
but now i'm determined to get my life in line and never let some stupid man (or anyone else for that matter) make me feel like i'm 2 inches tall. i'm better than that.
Work is seriously killing me. Even though he'll deny it, my boss is treating me unfairly. Ever since I told him I was going to leave the company when Jenn did, he's been a total jerk. He can't even be cordial.
Yesterday he and the other supervisor (who isn't my supervisor at all) ambushed me to do an audit on my store. They kept me late because they were working so slow. Normally I don't take a lunch on Sundays because it's only a 6 hour day. However, they kept me until almost 4:30, a half hour longer than I was supposed to work. Of course I claim it on my time card and make note that they were the reason there was no lunch for me for yesterday. Today I get an email from him that says that there was "food all over the desk" when they got there and had I not taken a lunch, I should have told them so I could have taken one. He then said that if I wasn't forced to work past 4pm and could have clocked out and gone home. One problem, had I done that, they would have been locked inside the building and I would have had to come downstairs to let them out on my own time. I don't think so, buddy!
I would really like to walk out right now. I've actually done that to 2 employers in the past. I have no qualms about doing it. Unfortunately I don't have anywhere to go (I work for a storage facility and live on-site). Fortunately, Jenn is going to be applying for a job and if she gets it, we'll be able to move fairly soon, and not have to wait until November when another job within the company is to open up.
I really wish I could learn to be quiet and not react to what my boss says or does. It's common knowledge that I'm leaving at some point. You'd think they would treat me with kid gloves so I don't go postal, but no. They're treating me like shit and hiding behind the facade of "well, we weren't following policy before, so you need to do things this way now." and making out all this shit I've been doing for 17 months wrong.
I've turned this facility into something truly profitable and all I get is a "good job" and a meager raise. But, ultimately, nothing they could pay me would make up for what I deal with on a day-to-day basis.
I'm a recently-turned-30-something-who's-starting-life-over-and-has-no-idea-where-I'm-going-or-what-I'm-doing. This blog has changed its purpose several times in the year or so since I've started it, but it's all just the journey of my life. I don't know where the journey's taking me, but it's an interesting ride.
