Taking Control

I'm sure I've mentioned this many times before, but I'm seriously tired of feeling like I'm not in control of my life. I go through the motions of every day, but I rarely feel as though I've lived my day. I just exist. I'm tired of just existing. I really want to start living.

Over on Facebook, I've rediscovered old high school friends and see that all these people that I entered adulthood with have lived so much better lives than I have. No, I'm not trying to compete, I'm absolutely jealous. These people seem to have just done what they wanted and have lived happy lives. I know that everyone has times that are not as great as others, but my rough spot has lasted for years and years.

Now that I'm 30 years old, I can't allow this to continue. I'm not getting any younger here.

Yes, this goes back to that procrastination issue I posted about a week and a half ago. Yes, procrastination got the better of me and I still have yet to get on that damn elliptical. But, in my defense, all last week, temps were near or over 100 degrees and my garage isn't air conditioned. Also, I got pretty beat up at work and ran myself until I was sick. Not so good.

So now begins another week and I'm going to get started on getting myself a little healthier.

I'm also going to try a little harder to find a full time job. I need to do this for me. I thought I'd like staying home and not working or only working part time, but I hate having to ask for money or asking to spend money. I'm a grown adult, I shouldn't have to do this. I want to be free to spend my money how I want to spend it.

Speaking of spending money, I've come across quite a few plus-size fashion blogs (Young, Fat & Fabulous, Fatshionable, Big Gurl Fashion, and Five Favorite Things). These are blogs of average plus sized women who have found great ways and great places to dress their bodies. I want to be more fashionable. It's not that I have bad taste in clothing, I just want to have more of an edge and wear more than just ribbed tank tops and jeans. I also want to learn to wear heels again. LOL. It's been so long since I wore heels on a regular basis, but I really like heeled shoes. It'll help with my coordination, too. LOL.

But I'm getting side tracked (as usual). I want to take control of my life. I want to be selfish. I don't want other people calling the shots. I don't want to be told what my plans are. I want to make my own plans. I want to do my own thing. Being a people pleaser has gotten me in this situation and it hasn't made me happy.

I'm taking control. I'm going to make myself happy.

Ask and you shall receive

I came across a plus sized online store today that is not only trendy, but affordable.

Casual Plus

My next clothing spree will be going to this store!

Plus Sized Clothing

I have to say that as a plus-sized woman, it's disappointing to go shopping for clothes. I don't have a huge budget as we are operating on only 1.5 incomes, so I can't spend tons of money on clothes at any given time.

My favorite places to shop are Torrid and Old Navy. Old Navy is much more in my price range, but sometimes I want clothing that's edgier than the preppy stuff they have, and it'd be nice to shop in a real store, not just online (plus sizes are only sold online now), but Torrid is just way out of my price range. I shop at Torrid when they have their 50% off Clearance sales, but not really at any other time.

Target and Walmart have plus sizes, but most of those styles are for people my mother's age, not mine. It's hard to be a 20 or 30-something, plus sized, and broke.

It's also really hard for me to buy shoes. This doesn't have anything to do with being plus sized, but I am almost 6 feet tall and have size 10.5/11 feet. It's so hard to find cute shoes in my size. My choices are usually ugly sneakers, ugly flats, or stripper shoes. Yeah, I don't like either of them. I would like the same shoe someone a size 6 has, but in a size 11. It's not like clothing where some items just don't translate well into a large size. A shoe is a shoe, there shouldn't be a reason that shoes can't be made larger than a size 9!

So, all around, shopping is a pain in my ass. LOL. Yeah, yeah, I know "lose some weight and you won't have these problems!" But it's not really that - it's price. I don't understand why the fashionable stuff is so damn expensive! Cotton and spandex don't get more expensive when you make it cute instead of ugly. LOL. Thankfully I can find random shoes at Payless (though they're not so cheap anymore), and I've always got my Converse. =o)

I'm looking forward to Revolution 1228 coming out with an affordable (AND CUTE!) plus-sized line. This is clothing being designed by Mia Tyler and a partner right now. There has been one shirt launched already and I'm looking forward to more. I've seen samples and love what I see. I'm hoping that the items will be as affordable as I would like them, but we'll see how things go. I have faith!!

If all else fails, maybe I'll try making my own line. ;o)