Wednesday, April 21, 2010

It's just not working

I don't know why I drag things out longer than they need to go on. I know that things with this new guy aren't going to work, but I try anyway. I don't know where the optimism comes from, but part of me is trying to see the bright side of things.

While in the shower a few minutes ago, I started writing this post in my head. I want to explain that I'm not trying to be difficult when it comes to dating. I'm not trying to break hearts. I'm certainly not just trying to get laid. The reason I keep meeting someone new is because I'm looking for that person who takes the air out of my lungs when I first lay eyes on them. I've been in love with 4 people (3 men, 1 woman), and this happened each time I met these people.

With Austin, I was 14 and met him at a school dance. I knew I needed to be with him. With Angel, we didn't even really "know" each other yet, but we met at a bar/restaurant at an LJ Meetup and you could cut the tension with a knife (and I don't think we ever even spoke a word to each other the entire night). With Matt, I met him at work (he was an assistant manager, like me) and I knew there was something about him that made me want to get close to him. With Kraig, the second I laid eyes on him, it was all over. With him, I knew it was definite love at first sight. With the others, it was "in-like" at first sight, but it didn't take long for me to fall in love.

I'm waiting for that to happen again and I honestly feel that I'm wasting my time trying to make something work when I don't have those feelings. I nit-pick and let things bother me more than they should, but that's because I'm trying to make myself like someone that I don't think I could love. And when I do fall in love, all that stupid shit doesn't bother me. LOL I look past it because of the blindness love creates.

I want to be blind. I want to let go of the little shit because I love someone so much that it honestly doesn't matter and/or becomes endearing and cute.

I realize that this is a lot to ask, but, to be completely honest, I'd much rather be alone than in a mediocre or unsatisfying relationship.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Your Neighborhood Storage Expert

So I got a job with P.ubli.c S.torag.e. Not the one I wanted, but I got in. I'll be a "Relief Manager", which is an assistant manager for the district. I'll work where I'm needed until there's a store opening. It's a foot in the door that I'm glad to have.

For the time being, I'll still keep my job with Bath & Body Works and work both part time (the PS job will be at minimum 4 days, hopefully 5), and continue to live on Jenn's storage property.

I did meet someone and went on a couple of dates. So far it's gone well. At the moment, I'm doing the usual freak out after getting a bit intimate, but he's being understanding and I'm doing my best to control the freak out. Normally I start nit-picking and let everything annoy me, but I'm working on it. He's a really good guy and someone definitely worthy of least that I've seen so far. LOL. Time will tell. ;o) But I don't think that there's anything that we've disagreed upon so far. That's really nice. LOL. I'll keep you updated. ;o)

Monday, April 5, 2010

Have a space problem?

So I have an interview Friday morning with a district manager at Public Storage. He's the latest DM for the same district I was a part of when I worked for PS 3 years ago. I think it's a definite advantage that I've worked in 2 of his stores already. I don't have the truck just yet (there's a delay in getting the smog done on Dad's new car), but Dad told me he's going to get me the truck Thursday night regardless if he has his new car or not so I can get to my interview.

Yay! I'm so excited!! =o)