So I intended to give blood at the American Red Cross today, but was turned away because my blood pressure was too high. The first time the nurse took it, she got something like 200/115. The 2nd time she got 182/110. The 3rd and 4th time, she got 162/108. Their limit is 180/100 and you have to be under both to give. I couldn't get there.
I quit smoking in June or July and assumed that would lower my BP because it always has in the past. I don't know what's different now, but I am so not happy.
I walked out of the Red Cross office and had to do the walk of shame in front of about 5 other people waiting to donate. I was so emberassed and so depressed. I still want to cry now, almost 12 hours later.
I think I've decided that when I move into my new place, I'm going to go vegetarian and eventually vegan. This is my last ditch effort to change my ways before I find a doctor to get some kind of bariatric surgery. I don't want to end up on a myriad of pills by the time I'm 40. I also don't want to look like my mother in 30 years. I know it's not going to be easy by any means. I freakin love meat and chicken, but if I make myself go vegetarian/vegan, I'll force myself to stop using convenience foods as a crutch. I'll stop looking at vegetables as an option. And going vegan will force me to cut out most junk food, too.
I just can't live like this anymore.
Edited to add: BTW, this has nothing to do with my physical appearance. Frankly, I think I look good. I'm always told I look good and even got told I was beautiful by a perfect stranger this morning. I don't need to lose weight to look good, I need to lose weight so I can live to 100 and continue tormenting people, making more enemies, and loving my friends. ;o)
An Honest Letter From Camp
3 hours ago