Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Fatty Fatty 2 by 4

So I intended to give blood at the American Red Cross today, but was turned away because my blood pressure was too high. The first time the nurse took it, she got something like 200/115. The 2nd time she got 182/110. The 3rd and 4th time, she got 162/108. Their limit is 180/100 and you have to be under both to give. I couldn't get there.

I quit smoking in June or July and assumed that would lower my BP because it always has in the past. I don't know what's different now, but I am so not happy.

I walked out of the Red Cross office and had to do the walk of shame in front of about 5 other people waiting to donate. I was so emberassed and so depressed. I still want to cry now, almost 12 hours later.

I think I've decided that when I move into my new place, I'm going to go vegetarian and eventually vegan. This is my last ditch effort to change my ways before I find a doctor to get some kind of bariatric surgery. I don't want to end up on a myriad of pills by the time I'm 40. I also don't want to look like my mother in 30 years. I know it's not going to be easy by any means. I freakin love meat and chicken, but if I make myself go vegetarian/vegan, I'll force myself to stop using convenience foods as a crutch. I'll stop looking at vegetables as an option. And going vegan will force me to cut out most junk food, too.

I just can't live like this anymore.

Edited to add: BTW, this has nothing to do with my physical appearance. Frankly, I think I look good. I'm always told I look good and even got told I was beautiful by a perfect stranger this morning. I don't need to lose weight to look good, I need to lose weight so I can live to 100 and continue tormenting people, making more enemies, and loving my friends. ;o)


Anonymous said...

I am trying to drop some pounds too. When I go to Subway I get a 6inch instead of the foot long. It is so hard to make that choice because I know I can wolf down a foot long without a problem. But it gets easier each time I go for the 6 inch. Same goes with fast food fries, I order small. At home I am trying to focus on portion control which is also getting easier. And finally I started walking 1/2 hour, 5 days a week. This helped me drop 10 pounds; however I started slacking and gained 5 pounds again. So I will try again to focus on a healthier me. I do not know you but I bet you can do it too. Lets be 7lbs lighter by Christmas.

Stacey said...

Portion control is usually a problem for me, too. I am always freakin hungry (another reason for me to consider a gastric band). But I know I need to just make better choices, too. I'll be moving into my own place in 2 weeks and will be able to get started on the right path. If I stock my house with good things, then I'll only eat good things, right? ;o) Thanks!