Sunday, August 22, 2010

You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here.

While having dinner with my family last week, my dad told me he needs to get a part time job to help pay the bills.

Last June, when Chrysler started closing down stores, my dad's GM jumped the gun and laid a bunch of people off including my dad. Luckily my dad found a new job in just 5 weeks, but his new job pays about 40% less than what he was making. Now if my parents were still in their house in Daly City, the rental, this wouldn't really be an issue, but the mortgage on their current home, the one they bought in January 2008, is twice the rent on the Daly City house.

I can't stand the thought of my dad, at 58, having to get a second job because he's getting screwed by his new employer. My dad's current job pays on commission and business sucks, so he's not making enough money, nor is he making even remotely what he deserves. Luckily his employer is changing hands and the new owner is going to make some changes that benefit everyone, but for now, my dad needs to find an additional source of income.

Now, my brother lives there and pays them about $350 a month. I am now finally able to start paying for the truck, so I'm giving my dad $250 a month. Unfortunately my bills are kind of high right now (and I make shit money), so $250 is all I can afford to send right now. But on my way home today, I actually saw my dad on the freeway and we waved as we passed each other. Seeing him made me start thinking about all this stuff and wondering how I can really help more.

The plan I came up with is this: turn off my cable at Jenn's place, box up my stuff, store it here while she still works here, and move in with my parents so I can give them more money (and convince them to get more money from my brother since he can more than afford it). The only bump in the road is my cats. My mom doesn't want my cats there (she keeps offering me a place to stay with them if Jenn gets a new job before I get my own store with an apartment). My mom's not a cat person. If I do this, then I'll have my boss hold off on finding me a resident manager property for a little while and I'll stay at my current store so I can keep the higher pay rate.

Obviously I'd lose a lot of privacy and space, but I think helping my parents is more important than my space. I'm gonna think about this for a couple days, just to be sure I can/want to do this, then approach them with my plan. If they go for it, I'll be able to give them closer to $600 a month (I won't have the cable bill, and my gas expense will be cut in half since they're so much closer to work).

Help. Am I crazy for thinking about moving back home or am I truly doing the right thing? This move also means putting my love life on hold, but it's not really going anywhere anyway, so why not, right? LOL.

I need feedback!!!

Thursday, August 19, 2010

I will never be your stepping stone.

So I finally had to give the new guy the official boot. It's being done as I type this, actually.

So I had met this guy on a little more than a month ago. He messaged me first (which I usually let happen since I have an extremely high fear of rejection), and we hit it off pretty well. We texted for more than a week before we finally met. We spent the day at Starbucks, and 2 different restaurant/bars having drinks and grub. Literally we spent the day together. From noon until midnight. I also broke a huge rule for myself and slept with him on the first date. That was so stupid.

We hung out again a few days later, but because of his schedule, it wasn't until late in the evening (10pm) and we just watched a couple of cooking shows, then slept together again. That was the last time I've seen him and it was like 4 weeks ago. Since then he's been flaky on hanging out - he never wants to make plans because he "doesn't know what he's doing that day", plus he's also been seeing other people. In short, he didn't make the effort to make time for me. He kept expecting me to be ready at any time to hang out with him.

I'm not one of those people that stays date-ready when I get home from work. If I have no plans, I get into pajamas and settle in for the night. It's a whole mindset, it's not just physical. I don't want to go out again if you text me at 8pm and ask to hang out when I've been home for more than an hour, am not dressed, am probably stuffed and sleepy from dinner, and have to get up and redo my face and hair to go out again. Especially when I have to work the next day.

Last week we had a conversation about how I wasn't interested in him anymore because I want to date someone who actually wants to see me and date me, not just come over in the middle of the night to fuck me. I'm not a booty call. In short, he begged for another chance and I gave it to him. I still haven't seen him. Last night we had the same conversation once again and I agreed to see him tonight (inviting him to my house for dinner and a movie). When I woke up this morning, I realized I had been manipulated into giving him yet another chance and I didn't like that feeling.

So I texted him and told him as such and I was done dating/talking to him. He just told me "OK fine. Go back to your dyke gf." Wow. I dodged yet another bullet there! What a tool! I hurt his pride by dumping him and he insults me for having dated women. HAHAHA How freakin pathetic. (He's now trying to tell me that I wasn't anything special and he's got plenty of women to go to. Duh, dude. That's why you had no time for me. LOL. I know you're seeing other people. Why do you think I made you use condoms??) You ARE the weakest link, goodbye!

I had thought maybe this guy would be different as he found me when I wasn't really looking. Yes, I had that profile up on, but I wasn't using it. I hadn't in a couple months. You know what they say about what happens when you stop looking for love, right? Yeah, I thought that's what this was. Boy was I wrong. LOL

I'm not upset in the least bit, actually. I'm not even really disappointed, per se. I am just chalking it up to being something that was meant to happen (having slept with him lead me to seek out birth control which got me to stop smoking!! My blood pressure was way too high for me to be on the pill, so I quit smoking and I can already feel that my BP is more normal.). Plus, considering I don't know where I'll be living in 2 months time, it's probably best that I don't get involved with anyone so that no one gets hurt when I move. Honestly, don't know if I'll stay in the tri-county area or if I'll be sent to a facility 4+ hours from home.

Anyway..that's the current dating situation. Once again, I tried, but it's nothing special. LOL

Friday, August 6, 2010

News - PIC: Shiloh, 4, Frolics in the Pool - Style & Beauty -

News - PIC: Shiloh, 4, Frolics in the Pool - Style & Beauty -

Theres all this controversy surrounding Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt allowing their 4 year old daughter to dress like a boy. Who cares? The only thing I see or think when this is brought up is that this child is being allowed to live without being told who to be or how to act. This child is being allowed to live how she feels inside. If she thinks she's a boy, then good for her. Maybe it's just a phase, maybe it's not and she's actually a transsexual. At 4 years old there's no real way to tell, but who are we to judge? I applaud Angelina and Brad for allowing their children to express themselves the way they want and grow up to be the people they are meant to be, not who mom & dad want them to be!