How Does It Feel To Be Gay?

This is a copy/paste from the Queers United blog. It's too good not to share.

An Exercise in Gay Acceptance for Heterosexuals

This video is an exercise that was given at a seminar in how it feels to be isolated and discriminated against as a gay person. This video is an exercise to let straight people imagine what it would feel like if the world was gay, and heterosexuals considered deviant outcasts. It is eye opening video into heterosexual privilege and highly recommended!

Family and death

My dad called about an hour and a half ago. I had an odd feeling when he called because it's a Monday and I couldn't think of any reason why he'd need to call. Well, he did have a reason and it wasn't a good one. His best friend Carl died of a heart attack yesterday. He died alone, in his car, a block from home. A stranger found him and called 911. By the time emergency crews got there, he was gone.

I'd always considered Carl my uncle. He'd been friends with my dad for much longer than I've been alive. We've done family vacations with Carl, his wife, and their 2 daughters (both not much younger than me). I was on a bowling team with my dad and Carl for about 4 or 5 years. I remember finding his obsession with The Beatles to be kinda funny.

I last saw Carl on Opening Day at AT&T Park with my dad, brother, and my dad's other friend John. It was good to see everyone that day, especially Carl. I hadn't seen him since I moved out of my parents house 5 years ago and stopped bowling with my dad.

Carl is the first close family member I've lost since my great-grandmother died when I was 12. I'd pretty much forgotten what loss like this feels like. It's hard to comprehend that I'll never see him again. He was so young - the same age as my dad, in his mid-50's. And such a funny guy.

His wife, Paula, is beside herself. My dad says she's really kind of lost. She lost her husband and best friend. Both of their kids aren't home anymore - the youngest is in college, but at least she's only in Sonoma, so she's not that far away, and the other is married and teaching in southern California. I can't think of Paula ever being without Carl. They're two peas in a pod. I cannot imagine the anguish she's feeling right now. But I will pray that God gives her strength. I know she's going to need it.

There's a rosary on Thursday night and the funeral is Friday. My dad's going to be a pallbearer. I'm going to find coverage for Friday's shift so I can be there. I can't even imagine not going.

In any case, be sure to hold your loved ones close and tell them you love them everyday. You never know if it's the last time you'll see them.

I finally went to church.

Over the past weekend, Jenn's family was having a reunion at her grandparents' house not too far from here. We missed most of Saturday's events because Jenn was at work, but we made it for dinner and swimming. It was fun to meet more of her family..there's a lot of them! LOL.

Sunday morning was church, then breakfast, then more swimming. Breakfast was awesome, swimming was fun (not as many kids in the pool!), but church was a real experience.

We went to the family church (St. Francis) for our service. Jenn's family has a lot of history there - her mother's father (which, btw, is not the family that was having the reunion, that was her dad's family) painted most of the paintings inside the church, including the giant cross that sits behind the altar. Her dad's family has been going there for 50+ years. All of her aunts, uncles, and cousins were baptized there, and quite a few have been married there.

I was very overwhelmed and almost overstimulated with emotions that I couldn't define. There was electricity running through my veins. I very nearly cried several times because I felt so full of...something...God's love, perhaps. But I definitely didn't feel out of place.

Jenn had been on board for the church trip for the last few weeks, but had changed her mind on Saturday, but agreed to go when I said I'd still like to attend mass. I was glad. It opened up a (short) dialogue about my wanting to continue attending church. She said she wouldn't mind going back to church either (and neither would our friend Cole), but none of us would like to go to a Catholic church. We were all raised in the Catholic church and don't agree with its teachings and doctrines. We all come from places where we feel, in one way or another, persecuted and abused by the Catholic Church.

I found a Presbyterian church in Pittsburg that I have been wanting to check out for months. I think now I'll finally be able to do it. I almost chickened out Sunday morning, but pulled it together and I'm so glad I went. I think now that I've broken the ice, I can continue going. But, especially since I've never been to this church before, I'll have to get Jenn up and drag her to mass again. LOL. I'll bribe her with McDonald's on the way. LOL.

In any case, I just wanted to share that I'm glad I went and I think this is going to help me in the long run. I hope I'm not setting myself up for disappointment by saying this, but I think this is going to give me some real direction for my life. I've been feeling lost for a long time, so perhaps this will help me get on the right path for my life.

I'll keep ya updated. ;o)

Raising Sextuplets

So there's this new multiples show on WE.tv called Rai.sing Sex.tuplets.

Have you seen it? I have. And I don't know that I can continue to watch it. The mom, Jenny, is completely passive and let the kids rule the roost. The dad, Bryan, seems to be self centered and very immature, yet sometimes seems to be the sound of reason in that house. Generally, though, these two seem like bumbling idiots that have no idea what they're doing.

Yes, I completely understand that parenting multiples is difficult. Yes, I understand that being a first-time parent is a series of trial and error. Yes, I understand that I have no children of my own so I really have no voice of authority here. However, I know that there are things that they do that I would NEVER do, and things that they do that I would do completely different because my way makes sense.

For example: When mom gets the babies up, she takes them all out of their cribs at the same time and lets them loose in the livingroom (where there are no gates separating them from the rest of the house as far as i can tell) and changes all their diapers on the floor with all the other kids running around and over the one getting his diaper changed. (I would take them out one at a time, change their diaper, set them in the feeding table, then get the next one, then get them all breakfast.)

Another example: When the mom has to get all the kids into their van to go somewhere, she takes all of them out front and puts one or two in the van, buckles them while there's at least one other kid running around the unfenced yard. Yes, I said unfenced. Sure, they live on a culdesac, but it's still no excuse. (Yeah, I'd take them out of the house one or two at a time and get them both in the van & strapped in, then go back for more...you can't leave a 16-month-old running around a yard that's not fenced in)

Another: When mom goes to work, dad takes care of the kids. As soon as she gets home, (or just a few hours later if she works a night shift {she's a nurse}) she takes over and he walks away. When she stays home all day to take care of the kids while he works, he comes home and doesn't want to change diapers because he works all day. Or one time he came home on his lunch break and she asked him to change a diaper and he refused because he doesn't normally come home at lunch, so why should he have to? (Yeah, I'd be telling my partner to GTFO if they're not going to help. I refuse to be a single parent in a 2 parent home.)

Another: They got a real Christmas tree and decorated it with unbreakable ornaments, however, they didn't gate off the tree in any way, and put it in a corner between 2 couches. The kids have complete access to the entire tree, could pull it down, get into the water, etc. (Yeah..NO! The tree needs to be out of reach of little hands.)

Another: They stayed in a hotel and the camera guy got a shot of one of the babies in the bathroom alone, in the tub, trying to turn on the faucet. The parents were in the main part of the room with a couple of the other kids trying to get them dressed or something. (Umm...try closing the door or corralling them all into pack-n-plays so they don't get into things when you're not paying full attention - especially in an unfamiliar environment!)

There's really so much more as to why it's so difficult for me, you really have to watch it to see what I'm talking about.

I really hate to down talk anyone's parenting, especially because I'm not a parent, but I'm honestly flabbergasted at some of the things that happen in this household.

Ugh..someone please tell me I'm not just being a bitch and that this lady and her husband really are kinda dumb and shouldn't really have those kids. Or, at the very least, should take parenting classes or something?

Oh..and someone needs to give the mom some free dental. Her underbite is so gross!!! That's like the worst kind of oral imperfection for me. LOL. I can't stand underbites. LOL


P.S. If you are offended by what I have said, please read the disclaimer at the bottom of the blog page. Thanks.

Birthday Pics

I've finally got my birthday pics up on Flickr to share with everyone. I only got the pics a few days ago, but at least I have them. LOL.




Click the pic for the whole set.

Nostalgia

So NKOTB was in town again last night. This time at the Sleep Train Pavillion in Concord. The show was awesome! I swear, they put on the best shows of anyone I've seen so far. I am going to love those boys until the day I die. I'm also going to crush on them (most of them) until the day I die. LOL. They're hot!! ;o)

There was a group of about 10 of us on the lawn and even more people I knew that had seats down below us. It was such a different experience being with a group of people than just the 2 of us - their energies fueled my own and made it that much more exciting. LOL.

Surprisingly, I didn't have too much difficulty talking today, but my throat is scratchy from all the screaming I did last night. LOL. I am really tired, though. I'm getting old! LOL.

I wish I had enough money to travel to see all their shows in CA. That would be awesome!

Maybe I should play the lottery. LOL

Hot Days of Summer

So it's been officially summer for a while now and we're really getting into the warm weather. I love the heat. Aside from Christmas-time, when I love the glitz of the lights and trees, Summer is my favorite time of year. My favorite clothing items are tanktops and shorts/capris so loving summertime really fits. LOL.

During the few warm days we had in late spring, we spent some time in the pool over at Shauna and Cole's place, but now that the weather is in the 85 - 105 range, the swimming will be much more enjoyable (the pools aren't heated. booo!!). Unfortunately, S&C are out of town this weekend and Shauna will be out of town next weekend as well (this week for camping, and next week she's going to her sister's in Portland for the Tori Amos concert). I haven't seen S&C since the night I left for Oregon on the 7th of last month - since moving back to the east bay in November, that's the longest I've gone without hanging out with them. LOL. We always have tons of fun hanging out at their place and in/by the pool, so I can't wait for that to start up again. They're house is our home-away-from-home on the weekends.

This weekend, to celebrate the 4th, we'll be at my parents' house tomorrow afternoon/evening for BBQ and possibly fireworks...not sure if we'll be able to see them from their house or not. It'll be a nice day for my dad to forget that he doesn't have a job. He does have an interview on Monday with a car dealership in Vallejo, though, so that's a good thing! (Especially since I pointed him towards the Craigslist posting!! LOL)

Then on Sunday, we'll be headed up to Walnut Grove to spend the day with Jenn's dad and step-mom on their boat in the delta. That should be a fun time. Unfortunately I have to work that night, but we'll be able to have a few hours in the sun and water.

In any case, I just had to share a little love for this time of year. I've already got a good tan going so far and it's only going to get better! I just might have to start going to tanning places during the winter to keep it up. LOL.