Money sucks, man.

So it's been a couple months since I last updated. I've been wanting to wait until I had difinitive answers to relay.

Back in June, I went to the girlie doctor and ended up with an abnormal pap. I had to go back for a procedure called a colposcopy. The doctor took a few samples of my cervical tissue for further testing. That came back bad. I was diagnosed with Cervical Displasia. It was in Stage 3, which is one step back from pre-cancer. 2 months after this all started, I was able to finally get things taken care of. I had a LEEP procedure on 8/8 that removed all affected tissue from my cervix. My doc did take just enough tissue to remove the bad cells, but left plenty of tissue that I shouldn't have any issues carrying children at some point.

I'm glad to be in better health, especially since I had no clue I was sick. Unfortunately I am now in incredible debt. I owe K.aiser $1800 in medical bills from these labs, plus my psych evaluations. I also finally got my bill from my Stanford ER visit. That's another $1200.

I also totalled the truck last month. Well, it's still driveable, but not entirely safe. I am doing minimal driving right now until I get my next bonus payout. At that time, we're selling the truck for whatever we can get and my parents will help me with a bit of money to buy me a car. I'm aiming for one that's less than 10 years old. It'll also be a sedan or compact, hopefully a manual transmission, and be good on gas. I'm thinking a Nissan Versa, Altima, or Maxima, or a new version Volkswagon Beetle. Those are my top choices. Hell, even a Dodge Neon like my dad has. But not the sport version as the shocks are horrible. LOL.

In the accident, I collided with an Audi and my insurance only covers $5000 in damages. There wasn't a whole lot of damage (she was able to drive to the side of the road, though her radiator was busted), but I'm sure it'll total more than $5000. Thankfully no one was hurt, but now I"m scared that I'll get sued for the balance of the damages. =o( I'll just have to wait and see on that.

So in that respect, my life sucks balls. Everything else is going pretty well, I suppose. My new friends are fabulous. I can't imagine life before Brittany. She is absolutely amazing. She's like the perfect friend for me. I went to hang out over at her house the other night to play cards. I don't think I've ever done that before! She grew up doing it and loves it but her husband doesn't play cards. She taught me a couple games. I had beginners luck and kicked her ass. LOL. It was fun. It's so nice to be friends with someone who doesn't use you.

My Twitter family is just awesome. I've made some good friends and I'm constantly meeting new people. It's great.

Anyway, that's all I have time for today. I'm trying to get my house clean so I can pull out the Halloween decorations. Hope you all are having a safe and fun Labor Day Weekend!

How do I remember to breathe?

So I've kind of fucked myself again with money. I am so stupid when it comes to money.

My registration is now late because I was too short on cash to pay it. Granted, I had $180 in copays over the last 2 weeks that I had to pay for doctor's appointments that I shouldn't have had to pay (I was supposed to get a reimbursement card, but never got it), and then didn't have enough money to pay the smog and registration on the truck.

I still owe my dad the last payment on the truck, too.

I don't get paid until Tuesday, but I still won't be able to register my car until the following Monday when I have the day off to get the smog and go to DMV.

I have no idea how I'll be able to get to Vegas. I think I might have to postpone until later in the year so I can see how my money situation goes. You have no idea how disappointing this is. I was trying to bump up the date so I can go to a concert on September 9th but it's just not going to happen. I just have to focus on the now and worry about my trip later.

I hate that I always feel the need to spend spend spend when I know I'm already tight on money. It's so stupid. I told my therapist about it (for those not in-the-know, I started going to therapy) and she thinks that it's not anything too serious yet since I'm not racking up credit card bills (but that's only because no one will issue me cards anymore). I just have that need for instant satisfaction. It can be with anything, too. Clothes, food, coffee, a book, a movie, shoes. It doesn't matter, but I have to spend all the money I have, I can't save it. I don't know what's wrong with me.

Part of me wants to stop buying the fancy food and eat crap. But I feel so much better with all these veggies in my body! I ate fast food a few days in a row last week or the week before and my system still isn't right. I can't do that. I've grown almost addicted to my breakfast smoothies (fruits with slim fast and greens), but those don't even cost that much, especially since my frozen fruit comes from the dollar store.

Ugh. I just have to get the registration taken care of and the smog, and then I'll worry about the rest. I'm trying not to drive much so I don't get a ticket, but I am so nervous I'll get caught. I can't afford a ticket!