BFN

Well, round 3 was a Big Fat No.

This time I am disappointed. Not discouraged, though. Definitely not discouraged.

And now in baby news...

Jenn was checking Fertility Friend last night and it looks like we totally hit the nail on the head with the insem. We did the insem on Wednesday night (when I noticed my mucus was soft) and Thursday night and then on Friday I could definitely feel ovulation cramps in my left ovary. Fertility Friend said Thursday was the optimum day.

Of course I'm not trying to get my hopes up too high so I'm disappointed again, but from the start I had a good feeling about this round. I should be able to test as soon as next Friday the 24th as that's day 30 of this cycle, but, like last month, I may wait those few extra days to be sure...maybe I'll test on the 28th or 29th. We'll see.

My temp has steadily climbed over the last couple of days, too, but I'm not sure what that means. My normal temp is about 97.45 - 97.70, but Saturday and Sunday it had been in the 97.9 range. This morning it was at 98.15. So that's a good thing. Hopefully it'll stay up and indicate that I am indeed preggo by not falling...plus I'll take that darn HPT towards the end of the month, too. LOL.

Ok...so I got side tracked while writing this entry, so I'll stop now because my train of thought is gone for good. LOL.

It's Go Time!

So my friend R sent me some info to help me get pregnant. The info I had already read was a little different, but this one gave me more things to check and better information on OPK's. I only knew that I shouldn't use my morning pee for the OPK, but figured it'd be OK in the evening or night. WRONG! I'm supposed to use it late morning to early afternoon. I've also been watching for mucus. Well, I found it today when I peed at lunch, so I did the OPK and it showed positive!! Today's only day 15. There was no spike in my temp, either. In fact, I think it was a little lower than yesterday. Well, the OPK does show positive 24 hours before ovulation (although that website says otherwise, but today was the first day I found mucus), so maybe my temp will be higher tomorrow.

I'm excited. I'm very encouraged this time. I also think that if I do get pregnant tonight or tomorrow, my kid's first concert is going to be The New Kids on the Block. LOL. I'm seeing them Friday.

Anyway....wish me luck!!!!

Cycle 3 begins

We got back from Reno on Wednesday evening. Reno was fun. I wish it had lasted longer though. LOL. All vacations are like that, I think - always too short.

I was back at work yesterday and was busy as all get out. It made the day go by pretty quickly, so that was nice. It also proved to be a bit of a distraction from some news from one of my friends. She just found out she's preggo. She's been trying a little longer than me (by a couple months) and is so excited. She has wanted this for a long time. I'm very happy for her. I know she's going to be a great mom. But, of course, I am extremely jealous that it's not me.

I think there is something wrong with me and that's why I haven't gotten preggo yet. I'm ovulating way too late in my cycle - at day 19 or 20. There's not enough time for implantation. I've thought that I have been ovulating twice - once at day 13, and then again at 19, but we've only been trying at 19 because Jenn thinks that's the truer ovulation day. I'm going to start the ovulation kit on day 10 this time and see if I actually am ovulating on day 13 or not.

I have a doctor's appointment next Friday so I'll be talking to her about trying to get pregnant. She's not an OB-GYN, though, just a general practitioner, but maybe she'll have some insight or have a referral. I'm moving in about a month, though, and will have to find a new doctor anyway.

I'm really not surprised at any of this, though. I mean, I know we've only tried twice, but I have had a feeling for years that it was going to be difficult for me to get pregnant. See, when I was a teenager, my cycles were very irregular - anywhere from 28 to 40+ day cycles. That lasted until I was 22 or 23, maybe even a bit later than that. I also terminated a pregnancy when I was 18. That's more of where my worries lie - that the termination did some damage. I know the chances of that are slim, but I still worry. I feel like that's my punnishment - I terminated one life, so now I don't get to create another.

R's pregnancy does give me hope, though, as she terminated a pregnancy in the past and now she's pregnant. I'm just really ready to see a doctor and find out what I need to do to get pregnant. LOL I never thought I'd say I wanted to see the doctor, but this time I really do. I need her to give me good news and advice. In the mean time, I'm going to look up homeopathic ways to increase my fertility.

Right on schedule

Yesterday was day 34 of my cycle and, on queue, my period showed up this morning.

I won't lie, I'm extremely disappointed. Now, unless I have multiples or a preemie, I won't be a mom before I turn 30. I know that's not the most important thing in life, but it was kind of important to me.

As disappointed as I am that I'm not pregnant, I also know that it's partly of my own doing. There are ways I could have tried harder, things I didn't need to have done, things I didn't do that I should have. I was trying to just be laid back about the whole thing and hoped that strategy would work. I know it's only 2 tries now, but I think it's time to change that strategy. This next round will be worked at harder.

To be completely honest, I'm most disappointed in myself for not having tried harder. I have no one to blame at this stage but myself. It's OK, though. I'm not really beating myself up for it. I'm just sad. Today begins a new cycle of trying and tomorrow's another day.

It'll happen.