so..yeah..still not pregnant. i guess that spotting i had was just a fluke. i really don't have much to say about it, but i did send miguel the following email. i feel a lot better after having voiced my thoughts.
Sorry to contact you this way, but I don't have your regular email and it's too long to text (and I'm horrible on the phone). lol So...my period showed up this morning. I think I want to take a little break. Since my birthday is next month, I want to take the month off so that I can have a crazy, drunk time for my 30th without worrying about the consequences of not conceiving after having tried the week before.
I think this will also give us all some time to get our heads clear and back in the game. When we start again, I really think that we need to be more aggressive. I'm gonna try to get those IUI instruments to help. I'm going to try to get Jenn to quit smoking so I can quit, too. And I need you to be there when I need you. If you're going to be out of town when I let you k now it's time, you need to tell me - it hurts my feelings when you just don't show up and don't call or anything. I'm not expecting you to rearrange your life for this baby-making stuff, just keep me informed so we can rearrange the baby-making schedule around other stuff.
I know you're probably frustrated. So am I. I never imagined this would take so long. The monthly disappointment is almost too much for me to bear, but I know it's not the end of the world, either. We'll get there. In the grand scheme of things, trying for 9 or 10 months isn't really that long. I'm trying to be patient, as I'm sure we all are, but it's hard. We'll get there.
I'll talk to you soon! Love you!
hopefully i'll get a positive response.
zucchini grilled cheese
23 minutes ago