blerg

that's how i feel today. blerg. i don't even know what that means.

last night jenn and i headed out to livermore to have dinner and drinks with our friend heather and a bunch of our other friends and her friends and her mom. we stayed out way too late because my friend riki showed up and i wasn't really expecting her to, so jenn and i stayed to hang out with her. then there was denny's at 1am, then we finally came home. i think i finally got to sleep at around 3, but i woke up every half hour until i finally got up at 8am - almost an hour earlier than i needed to get up. i didn't bother going back to bed because i knew that once i got up and peed that i wouldn't be able to go back to sleep anyway. i ended up down in the office 45 minutes early, too. i didn't see the point in hanging out in the living room with the tv down low so i didn't wake up jenn or delving back into twilight because the chapters are too long...plus i would have gotten totally sucked back in and not want to come downstairs to open up. lol.

i feel like crap, though. i mean, i probably slept a total of 3 hours and i had too much to drink and too many cigarettes last night. ugh. the thought of smoking right now makes me want to hurl. my throat is raw. i really need to quit, so why not now? lol. ha! i say that now, but i'll be smoking again this afternoon.

oh...and toaster strudels taste like crap after a night of drinking.

thoughts on god

you know, in reading all of these multiples families, i've noticed a huge trend - God is a huge part of their lives. Well, not huge for some, but for most. I've never been a big believer in God. When I was a kid, I felt that the Catholic religion was a sham and taught nothing but hate and to fear God. Everything was a sin, so how could you do anything right to get into heaven? Yes, I was a precocious child. As a teenager, I went to a Catholic high school and we had mass and religion classes, but, again, it was more about obeying the bible. There was never anything about Faith. Sometimes I'm not even sure what Faith is.

I wish I had the faith that all these families have. I want so desperately to believe in a higher power. I need to believe in something because believing in nothing leaves me feeling lost.

Recently I've started to watch Joel Osteen on tv. I record his Sunday morning sermons to watch when I can. I've read about half of his first book, but I don't feel like I have enough to believe. It's still hard for me to believe. I'm skeptical.

I think I need to get Sundays off work again so I can go to church. I don't like Catholic church, so I won't be going there. I'll be going to Glide Memorial. It's a Methodist Church I think. It's very spiritual and uplifting. Maybe I'll find God there. I know I'll be accepted there - I wouldn't be in a Catholic church, for sure.

I just need some kind of guidence I think. Hopefully I'll find it.

home alone on a friday night..

jenn's (the gf) off for the weekend to spend it with a couple friends in concord. so that leaves me home alone. muahahahaha. lol. i don't really have any plans for much. tomorrow is full of errand running (i'm not working tomorrow) - pay my dad for car parts (one of his coworkers did the brakes on jenn's car), run to home depot for some work stuff, target for some personal stuff, then to lush for a couple of bath bombs to tide me over until i get paid again. seriously - if you're a bath person, you NEED some of these bath bombs. so delish!!

anyway...tonight i'm at home, having a yummy salad, surfing the net and having a harry potter night. prizoner of azkaban, then goblet of fire, and finally the order of the phoenix. oh, and i musn't forget the alcohol. i was hoping to have wine, but jenn snagged it to give to her friends as a housewarming present. instead, i'm having disaronno and coke sprite. it's quite yummy. there's no more disaronno, but there is vodka!! =o)

anyway...hope you all have a fab friday night!

i must confess

this isn't just another blog i decided to start. i figured i should sign up so that when i go to people's blogs, they know kind of who i am and not think that i'm some weirdo stalker.

it all started with the McNulty Quads - i found them via sfgate.com where they were featured on a blog called "the poop". they actually won the photo with santa contest. from there, i found more and more and more multiples blogs. i think i'm up to about 15 blogs that i'm trying to keep up with and just found a blog that has even more links to it that i've not seen before.

you can blame this all on jon & kate plus 8. lol. i'm fascinated with multiples. of course i'm also nosey as hell and reading blogs just feeds that need to know! haha.

so please don't think i'm a weirdo or stranger. i'm just fascinated and want to know how you people do it. lol.

i'm not a mom yet, but hopefully it'll happen soon.

thanks for stopping by!

p.s. i will try to remember to update this so you can get to know me, too. ;o) i won't make this a one sided friendship. haha

Hi

Just what I need...another blog. LOL. We'll see if I actually keep up with this one.

These are my others:

gliterybuterfly.livejournal.com

myspace.com/starlitstacey