Oopsie Doodle

I wrote these blogs a few days ago and never posted them here. LOL. Here's what's new with me:


Friday 9/17
My allergies are kicking my rear end! I never had allergies growing up. I guess living in Daly City and San Francisco didn't allow much pollen in my life. Living in the East Bay Area has introduced a whole new world to me. LOL. My allergies have been steadily getting worse and worse and this latest change in seasons is killing me. I don't know if this is anything you could ever get used to. I'm trying a new allergy medicine to see if that helps. It's a melt-away tablet that's just the generic Target brand, but we'll see how that works out. In the mean time I have to deal with daily sinus headaches...just when I quit smoking, lower my blood pressure and get rid of my weekly migraines. Oh joy! LOL


As far as moving in with my parents goes: It's not going to happen. My parents agree that we're going to hold that off as long as possible...until it becomes a "have to" situation. In the mean time, I have somehow found extra money to give my parents, so that's a good thing!


Now, with work: I'm still at my non-residential facility, but should be talking to a district manager next week about a couple stores he's got open that have apartments. I'll have to stay at my current store for about another month so we can get someone trained to take it from me (we're short handed, so I can't leave yet regardless if I get the job or not). So please cross your fingers for me that I get this new store! I'm so sick of commuting to work. I'm living in limbo again and want to be settled. The stores that are available are in Palo Alto and Mountain View which are in the southern peninsula area of the bay. I haven't lived in the 650 area code in almost 7 years. It's gonna be weird! LOL.


Tonight I have tickets to see Paramore in San Jose. My friend that was going with me (and bought the tickets as a birthday present to me) is having some medical issues and can't make it tonight. I need someone to go with me. I'm trying to prepare myself to go it alone, but I don't do anything alone, so it's gonna be rough. lol. Any of you want to go? ;o)


So that's what's new with me. I gotta update more. I keep meaning to, but then I put it off until it's too late at night and I want to go to bed. LOL.



Sunday 9/19
So I never did get anyone to take my extra ticket for the Paramore concert...I went by myself. I was really amazed at myself. Before I left my house to drop my stuff off at my parents house, I just decided I was gonna go. That was it. I was going and I'm not second guessing it. So I drove to Concord, dropped my bags off at my parents house, jumped back in my truck and drove to San Jose.

Of course I got lost on the way down. LOL. Sort of. I took my exit in the wrong direction, then I passed up the parking lot and had to make a u-turn. LOL. Oh well. I got there and it wasn't as uncomfortable as I'd feared being there alone. I had a good time. I was actually really kind of glad I ended up alone if I wasn't with Amy because I know the other 2 people that might have taken the ticket would have brought my good time down. Both of those people are kind of snarky (one WAY more so than the other) and would have just annoyed me all night. At least I can keep my comments to myself.

I don't do things like that alone. I've gone to county fairs, movies, the drive in, baseball games, and restaurants alone, but stuff like concerts are a little more of a social thing and I was always really self conscious about going alone. I didn't want to be that lame girl that didn't have any friends. But you know what I realized? I missed out on A LOT of shows because I didn't have anyone to go with me and that sucks. So from now on, I'm not going to be a chicken. I'm just going to buy my ticket and go! Screw everyone else! LOL

Anyway..thanks to those of you on FB and twitter that encouraged me to just go! You guys rock!

You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here.

While having dinner with my family last week, my dad told me he needs to get a part time job to help pay the bills.

Last June, when Chrysler started closing down stores, my dad's GM jumped the gun and laid a bunch of people off including my dad. Luckily my dad found a new job in just 5 weeks, but his new job pays about 40% less than what he was making. Now if my parents were still in their house in Daly City, the rental, this wouldn't really be an issue, but the mortgage on their current home, the one they bought in January 2008, is twice the rent on the Daly City house.

I can't stand the thought of my dad, at 58, having to get a second job because he's getting screwed by his new employer. My dad's current job pays on commission and business sucks, so he's not making enough money, nor is he making even remotely what he deserves. Luckily his employer is changing hands and the new owner is going to make some changes that benefit everyone, but for now, my dad needs to find an additional source of income.

Now, my brother lives there and pays them about $350 a month. I am now finally able to start paying for the truck, so I'm giving my dad $250 a month. Unfortunately my bills are kind of high right now (and I make shit money), so $250 is all I can afford to send right now. But on my way home today, I actually saw my dad on the freeway and we waved as we passed each other. Seeing him made me start thinking about all this stuff and wondering how I can really help more.

The plan I came up with is this: turn off my cable at Jenn's place, box up my stuff, store it here while she still works here, and move in with my parents so I can give them more money (and convince them to get more money from my brother since he can more than afford it). The only bump in the road is my cats. My mom doesn't want my cats there (she keeps offering me a place to stay with them if Jenn gets a new job before I get my own store with an apartment). My mom's not a cat person. If I do this, then I'll have my boss hold off on finding me a resident manager property for a little while and I'll stay at my current store so I can keep the higher pay rate.

Obviously I'd lose a lot of privacy and space, but I think helping my parents is more important than my space. I'm gonna think about this for a couple days, just to be sure I can/want to do this, then approach them with my plan. If they go for it, I'll be able to give them closer to $600 a month (I won't have the cable bill, and my gas expense will be cut in half since they're so much closer to work).

Help. Am I crazy for thinking about moving back home or am I truly doing the right thing? This move also means putting my love life on hold, but it's not really going anywhere anyway, so why not, right? LOL.

I need feedback!!!

I will never be your stepping stone.

So I finally had to give the new guy the official boot. It's being done as I type this, actually.

So I had met this guy on OKCupid.com a little more than a month ago. He messaged me first (which I usually let happen since I have an extremely high fear of rejection), and we hit it off pretty well. We texted for more than a week before we finally met. We spent the day at Starbucks, and 2 different restaurant/bars having drinks and grub. Literally we spent the day together. From noon until midnight. I also broke a huge rule for myself and slept with him on the first date. That was so stupid.

We hung out again a few days later, but because of his schedule, it wasn't until late in the evening (10pm) and we just watched a couple of cooking shows, then slept together again. That was the last time I've seen him and it was like 4 weeks ago. Since then he's been flaky on hanging out - he never wants to make plans because he "doesn't know what he's doing that day", plus he's also been seeing other people. In short, he didn't make the effort to make time for me. He kept expecting me to be ready at any time to hang out with him.

I'm not one of those people that stays date-ready when I get home from work. If I have no plans, I get into pajamas and settle in for the night. It's a whole mindset, it's not just physical. I don't want to go out again if you text me at 8pm and ask to hang out when I've been home for more than an hour, am not dressed, am probably stuffed and sleepy from dinner, and have to get up and redo my face and hair to go out again. Especially when I have to work the next day.

Last week we had a conversation about how I wasn't interested in him anymore because I want to date someone who actually wants to see me and date me, not just come over in the middle of the night to fuck me. I'm not a booty call. In short, he begged for another chance and I gave it to him. I still haven't seen him. Last night we had the same conversation once again and I agreed to see him tonight (inviting him to my house for dinner and a movie). When I woke up this morning, I realized I had been manipulated into giving him yet another chance and I didn't like that feeling.

So I texted him and told him as such and I was done dating/talking to him. He just told me "OK fine. Go back to your dyke gf." Wow. I dodged yet another bullet there! What a tool! I hurt his pride by dumping him and he insults me for having dated women. HAHAHA How freakin pathetic. (He's now trying to tell me that I wasn't anything special and he's got plenty of women to go to. Duh, dude. That's why you had no time for me. LOL. I know you're seeing other people. Why do you think I made you use condoms??) You ARE the weakest link, goodbye!

I had thought maybe this guy would be different as he found me when I wasn't really looking. Yes, I had that profile up on OKCupid.com, but I wasn't using it. I hadn't in a couple months. You know what they say about what happens when you stop looking for love, right? Yeah, I thought that's what this was. Boy was I wrong. LOL

I'm not upset in the least bit, actually. I'm not even really disappointed, per se. I am just chalking it up to being something that was meant to happen (having slept with him lead me to seek out birth control which got me to stop smoking!! My blood pressure was way too high for me to be on the pill, so I quit smoking and I can already feel that my BP is more normal.). Plus, considering I don't know where I'll be living in 2 months time, it's probably best that I don't get involved with anyone so that no one gets hurt when I move. Honestly, don't know if I'll stay in the tri-county area or if I'll be sent to a facility 4+ hours from home.

Anyway..that's the current dating situation. Once again, I tried, but it's nothing special. LOL

News - PIC: Shiloh, 4, Frolics in the Pool - Style & Beauty - UsMagazine.com

News - PIC: Shiloh, 4, Frolics in the Pool - Style & Beauty - UsMagazine.com


Theres all this controversy surrounding Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt allowing their 4 year old daughter to dress like a boy. Who cares? The only thing I see or think when this is brought up is that this child is being allowed to live without being told who to be or how to act. This child is being allowed to live how she feels inside. If she thinks she's a boy, then good for her. Maybe it's just a phase, maybe it's not and she's actually a transsexual. At 4 years old there's no real way to tell, but who are we to judge? I applaud Angelina and Brad for allowing their children to express themselves the way they want and grow up to be the people they are meant to be, not who mom & dad want them to be!

Ugh!

I think I'm just destined to have bad luck with dating.

So I've been talking to someone for a couple weeks now. We met after a week of talking, spent like 12 hours together, had a good time, but I did take him home. That was so stupid and I knew at the time it would be, but I did it anyway. I really expected him not to talk to me again, but he did. I had him over at my house a couple days later. We watched TV and slept together again.

Since then, he continues to talk to me, but it feels strained. It feels like he's too busy to talk to me or to hang out with me. In fact, I asked him if he wanted to hang out tomorrow afternoon since I've been dealing with a migraine today and wouldn't make very good company tonight. He said "Maybe. Dunno what I'm doing tomorrow." And that he wasn't available Friday because he would be getting his son for the weekend starting mid-day. So I asked why we couldn't make plans for tomorrow since he wouldn't be available for several days after that, and his response was "Well I have to work n dunno when I'll be done. Not sure what I'll have to do after that."

Am I wrong, or does that feel like the brush off? I already called him out on the brushing off yesterday because he only ever asks to hang out after dinner time and when I mention that I'm off on a particular day he still doesn't seem to get the hint that I'm telling him I'm off so we can make some sort of plans to hang out.

He's already stated that sometimes he can be kind of oblivious to things like that and doesn't take subtle hinting very well, but, to be honest, either he's REALLY dense or he just doesn't give a fuck if I'm around or not.

I'm so ready to just give up. I don't chase men. That's not my job.

I'm so confused. I don't know what to do.

But my vicodin is kicking in, so I'm gonna head to bed. But first, maybe a piece of cake. LOL

Umm...what?

Haven't done one of these in quite a while....

Here's my WTF video of the year!

Ouch, my freakin head...

So I've been suffering with periodic migraines for several years now. They used to be very infrequent - like once a year. Last year, I think, they started coming about once a month. Over the last couple of months they've been coming once a week. Today marks 2 days in a row. Usually these migraines are worse right before and during my period, so I'm thinking my hormones have a big influence on triggering them. I've actually thought this for a while, but, as per usual, did nothing about it.

This morning I finally made an appointment with Planned Parenthood so I can get my girlie bits checked out and get BC pills. I haven't had this kind of appointment in probably 5 years. I'm thinking it's time. I usually go 3 - 4 years in between appointments anyway. LOL. I'm thinking the BC pills will help with my headaches. I always get the low estrogen onces because they help get rid of my cramps, too. Once my insurance kicks in (in about 4 more months), I'll make an appointment with a regular doctor and get my head checked out. It's not normal that my eyeballs want to jump out of their sockets once a week.

I'm so over these damn headaches. I probably need Imitrex. I'm also going to see if I can get a referral to an ENT and find out if I really do have allergies because some of my migraines stem from sinus headaches. I don't want to be a pill popper now, though. I hate taking pills and always forget (hence the reason I'm never on BC pills LOL)

Or maybe it's just a tumor.

Farther Down

It's so hard for me to post a lot of the time because I hate to be so whiney all the time. For the most part things are going well for me. I don't have much to complain about, but we all know I just love to complain. LOL

Work is going OK. I'm having a rough month so far with business, but there's not much I can control about it. Granted, the "suits" would disagree, but I'm the one who actually works in the store and knows what goes on. I'm dealing. I'm having a little stress that's causing me sleep issues (work stress causes insomnia), but I'm really working on leaving work at the office.

Home life is OK. Jenn's still looking for another job, but isn't having much luck. I feel bad for her cuz I know how much the company sucks. She and I are getting along much better, too. We have a normal friendship now, I think. LOL. We were dysfunctional for so long, in our friendship and with our relationship, that I didn't think we'd ever get to this point. It's nice.

Now my love life is something to complain about. LOL. The latest guy, the friend, is out of the picture. I'm not really surprised, to be honest. I don't expect any one to stick around for long. I did have hope, though, that since we already knew each other and had mutual friends, he wouldn't screw me over. Well, he didn't screw me over...he just screwed me and decided that's all he wanted and walked. This is why I've decided that I'm no longer giving away the milk for free. The next person that wants in my pants is gonna have to buy the damn cow. I'm just so tired of allowing myself to be treated this way. I'm so much better than that and I deserve better.

Physically I hurt! LOL. My leg muscles have been crampy lately and I'm not sure why. Mostly, though, over the last 2 days, my right shoulder and upper back have been hurting like a bitch. I need a full body massage - any volunteers??

That's it for the time being. Hope that wasn't too whiney. LOL.

Ch-ch-ch-changes...more of them!

So tomorrow I officially become a Property Manager with P.ublic S.torage. Woohoo! I got the offer last week, but it actually starts tomorrow. It's not a residential property, so I'm not moving yet, but this gives me the chance to really prove my worth with the company and to my managers. I'm excited. =o)

Also changing...today I dyed my hair blonde. Well, my friend Jeffrey did. He runs the Haus of Vanity from his salon in his home. I think my hair is awesome. He also gave me a sassy new cut. =o) Check it out!




This is the before:



I am very excited. It's a very nice change from what I've been used to. It's my fun summer hair. LOL.

Anyway..That's all that's new from me for now. Whatcha think? ;o)

What's going on?

Sorry it's been so long since I've updated. I don't have a desktop PC right now and typing on this little Acer is not the easiest when I've got acrylic nails. LOL. Let's just say the "Backspace" key is my best friend right now. LOL

Work has been going well...if you don't count all the stupid mistakes I've been making. In the grand scheme of things, it's not a whole lot and I've only really made one major screw up, but I still feel dumb because of it. I honestly was wondering yesterday if I made the right decision to go back. I know I haven't done storage in a year and a half and I should give myself a break, but I can't help but beat myself up. I used to be an awesome manager and really knew my stuff, but now I feel like such a newbie and I hate it. I know I'll get past it, but until that happens, I'm going to continue feeling this way.

I did make the decision to stop being so damn cocky, though. LOL. Obviously it's not working to my advantage. I also brought home some homework to help retrain my brain and memorize scripts and policies. Hopefully it works because I am not having fun being babysat at work.

In other news, I got the bright idea to become a nurse or medical assistant of some kind. Of course, this means school and I hate school. Maybe dental assisting. That's something I can just go for without GE college classes, right? I dunno. I think I just want an excuse to wear scrubs everyday. LOL. I'm gonna wait to figure that out until I get my own store. I can't handle school with all this commuting going on right now.

I turn 31 in 12 days and have no children, not husband/boyfriend/partner. This is not where my life is supposed to be. I really feel my youth slip away and my chances of having my own children getting slimmer and slimmer. I know, I know, I'm just feeling sorry for myself, but that's OK, because if I didn't, no one would. Ok, OK, I'll stop. LOL It's just that having kids is very important to me and I'm just losing confidence in ever having any. I am trying to just take things day by day and see where life takes me and hope and pray I'm headed toward a husband and family. ;o)

Anyway...I'm headed out to the A's/Mariner's game tonight with my friend Daphne. She had a spare ticket and asked if I wanted it. Woohoo! My first baseball game of the season. I'm super excited! Of course I'm a SF Giants girl, but I'll root for the A's if I'm at their game. LOL. Just don't ever ask me to root for the Yankees! haha!

Ooh! And I went to the most awesome concert last week! I saw 30 Seconds to Mars at the Fox Theater in Oakland with my friends Amy and Rania. I thought Blue October and NKOTB put on good shows, but this was flippin awesome! I love Jared Leto. At one point I was just 8 feet from him. OMG, he is such a beautiful man!



It was during this part that I was so close...about 5 feet or so behind the person who taped this. If you have time, go through the rest of the videos posted from them. Awesomeness!!

The next show I'm going to with Amy is to see Stix at the Concord Pavillion next week. Not one of my faves, but it's an excuse to hang out with Amy. She's been a good friend and is one of the mothers to my 3 year old twin nieces. Amy's so funny at concerts. She's got cerebral palsy and is in a chair and totally uses it to her advantage to get great seating and special treatment. Plus she's a total flirt and cons stuff out of people. LOL.

Well, that's about it for now...I'll try not to stay away for so long next time. ;o)